whendidyoureyesbegintolookfake

brand_new4yew @ 2006-07-25T10:07:00

2006-07-25T14:08:21Z

people are fucking pathetic and need to grow up!!!! honestly

brand_new4yew @ 2006-06-14T22:10:00

2006-06-15T02:22:02Z

The past two days havent been that great for me. My uncle had a heart attack, but the part that im so upset about is.. he doesnt want to see me, doesnt want to talk to me.. im his fucking god daughter for the sake of mary!!! ((( i dont know what obsessed me to say that)).. but honestly.. he needs to get away from his wife.. we used to be so close and now hes not doing too good.. he stopped talking to HIS WHOLE FAMILY. because she wanted him to. she used to send back my grandmas birthday cards after my aunt tammy died.. like when my aunt tammy died thats it,..she turned on her bitch mode and put her foot down.. BULLSHIT.im his fucking neice. i wanna see him.. soo badly!!!!!ive been saying i just want to drive over there and knock on his door so he cant reject me.... but i dont know.. im sorry for bothering you's with this..

.. i just feel like i messed up a lot of things.. i messed up friendships up with a person who i KNOW would have been here for me with everything that is going on with mommy, uncle bob and just everything in general.. but i guess you learn from your mistakes huh?

<33 im gonna go to bed... good night all

brand_new4yew @ 2006-02-20T16:20:00

2006-02-20T21:23:46Z

Have you ever felt like you were doing something wrong in life?

brand_new4yew @ 2005-09-13T11:21:00

2005-09-13T15:18:31Z

hOpe* is a driving factor in helping us stay on course in life, it may feel as though it comes and goes, but in reality there is always hOpe*, there is always a chance for something else to happen, and you need to have faith that it will....

brand_new4yew @ 2005-07-25T10:01:00

2005-07-25T14:02:13Z

Do you remember why you play, or has it been too long? Is it bc you've worked so hard to get where you are, or bc you love to be part of a team? Is it bc you love the roar of the crowd or the anxiety before the game? Is it because you don't want to let anyone down, or yourself? Is it because you love the sound of a perfect hit, or because you would rather be on the field than anywhere in the world?Somewhere behind the athlete you've become,and the hours of practice,and the coaches who pushed you,and the teammates who believe in you,and the fans who cheer for you,is the little girl who threw the ball
-the one who fell in love with the game,and never looked back
-play for her*

brand_new4yew @ 2005-05-31T16:20:00

2005-05-31T20:21:59Z

wow i had a pretty bad day today.. i THOUGHT that it would all be better tonight but i guess i was wrong. I WAS SUPPOSED to takesaralyn out on a date but i dont even know if that is gonna happen anymore. i honestly dont nknow what to do anymore. im just gonna give up on everything.

brand_new4yew @ 2005-04-17T15:52:00

2005-04-17T19:53:43Z

im just gonna be by myself; because then I have no disappointments

brand_new4yew @ 2005-04-05T09:32:00

2005-04-05T13:32:38Z

does anyone want to be the kind perosn they are and make or find me an icon. I DESPERATELY NEED A NEW ONE!!!!!!!!!!
please. ill love u forever??

brand_new4yew @ 2005-03-28T12:41:00

2005-03-28T17:41:50Z

you knw what song i want on a cd, that enw simple plan song, UNTITLED.. i love that song.

:-)

brand_new4yew @ 2005-02-14T16:19:00

2005-02-14T21:19:13Z

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY SARALYN!!!!!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABE!

AWESOME DAY!!

2004-12-02T19:48:46Z

WELL TODAY WAS JUST A GREAT DAY I dont know what to say.I just got back from the mall because my grandma went out with me to buy a shirt for tonight & then i got my eye brows waxed. I wanna look the best for my baby,shes taking me out to eat tonight for my birthday!!!!YAY! lol love you baby! But yeah today i slept in a couple of my classes, oh and guess what!! I HAVENT WASHED MY HAIR SINCE SATURDAY!! discusting isnt it?? lol i know, ive been so busy and too tired to get a shower in the morning time, ill get one tonight before I go out ;-) lol.... buuuuttt guuuueesss what.. .

im so happy I GOT MY DIARY BACK!! oh how happy i am. I missed her so much, were going to work on our friendship and hopefully start off where we left off.. LOL THAT RHYMED. but yes i am pretty happy. :-)

brand_new4yew @ 2004-11-12T10:39:00

2004-11-12T15:40:31Z

ATTENTION JENNIFUR DALY & ALLY KRUJUSKI!!!
WHEN YOU LADIES COME HOME FROM COLLEGE FOR THANKSGIVING..
WE ARE HANGING OUT AND I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY. i WILL TIE YOU DOWN AND TAKE YOU WITH ME
I MISS YOU LADIES SOOOOO MUCH!!
<333333333333333333333333333333333333333
i just thought i would leave a post just for you's because i love you's so much!!!!!!!!<33

brand_new4yew @ 2004-11-08T21:08:00

2004-11-09T02:10:10Z

okay well i dont have that much time for an update.
i know i havent in a while; sorry been really busy with things. I have to go study and do a project for tomorrow. im so nervous about my tests, i was supposed to study tonight but.. umm.. yeah that didnt work. lol
well tonight was interesting, great & unforgettable.
:-)
okay kiddies well im gonna get a lot of rest soon...
im going to the soccer game tomorrow.. & i think brown is going to be there!!!:-) i missed him soooo much!

FUCKING CIVICS PROJECT

2004-11-02T02:11:58Z

OMI! that fucking civics project... damn it took me so long to do.okay i have a headache now so i think im gonna go.
kkkbye

brand_new4yew @ 2004-10-27T21:28:00

2004-10-28T01:29:57Z

but the rain falls cold
and the moon shines bright
black as night : cold as ice
waiting, wanting, feeling, emotion
crying, breaking, loving, nothing

so today was alright. people piss me off. but yeah... i had a good day. i went to the soccer game with frank... haha we had good conversatisons.. he was helping me out in forensics with some personal stuf... nice kidd frank is..
:-)

so yeah.. um today

2004-10-26T23:34:04Z

WAS A GREAT DAY!!!lol I actually had a good day.It started off with me hitting the snooze button about 6 times and then finally realizing that I had 10 minutes to get to the bus stop.lol,that was great.But then I got into school,was talking to My Marxie and I dont know;just had a good day.And in first period Chris SLavin and I decided we were gonna smoke before school tomorrow;so if i seem a little giggley;dont mind me, im not sure on that one tho because I havent talked to him since first period sooooo which means, he might forget..lol u know;boys these days,thats why they dont float my boat.lol.
anyways, afterschool I went home to talk to my mom about her Specialist appointment and then she drove me up to the library where I met up with Laura, Bridget and Greg and we were laughing in the library, haha I had a good time:-) and then we said our goodbyes to bridget and then we walked to the franklin mills mall where we saw jerry and we walked laura to work basically and then greg and my date started (oh yeah i forgot to tell you, greg and i were going on a date... like a little fag and his lesbain. :-))) lol soo yeah... we went to go see the hilary duff movie, it was cute,but not that good.. but she was SOOOO HOTTTT!!!lol if ya cant sing ya better have the looks..lol. ahhh.. sooo then we caught the bus and we had a good old time. we were singing alladin songs and the blue mooon song(but we only knew the corus.. lol I GUESS U HAD TO BE THERE WHEN I DIDNT KNOW THE WORDS.. LOL ) but yeah.. anyways then I got off the bus and here I am... I had a very good date with my lil faggamuffin... <3333333 ahh... ((smiles))) good day people good day... but yeah... guess what!!!! I ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING ELSE!!!! Im bridget and Gregs favrotie lesbain!!! AHHAHAHA I feel completed, like zI accomplished something in life.. lol it was funny...
WOW i havent had this good of a day in a while.... GOO MEE!!!lol I lost track of my old self,but hold on people././.. im coming back baby.
Fuck people if they wanna be rude and shiesty.. lol right??? ((spelling on that last word))... hahah well im listening to some old backstreet boys and doing a little sing along (im home alone so u know i can do this )lol... YAY!!!! BYE KIDDIES!!!!!
this is one of my favorite quotes....

SoMeTiMeS yOu GoTtA pUt Up WaLLs... nOt tO kEeP PpL ouT..buT tO sEe wHo w0uLd ..cArE eNOuGh To BrEaK tHeM dOwN..

brand_new4yew @ 2004-10-25T14:54:00

2004-10-25T19:00:12Z

hey homies!! im over phils right now talking to sara. its me marxie and phil, our lil trio!!!!!were going to the boys soccer game today!!phil just made us all grilled cheeses... they were pretty good.. i had a good day in school today, i was pissed off for the second part tho.. but im not going to get into that shit cuz i dont care.
so today i have pitching practice from 6-7ish.. and then i dont know what im going to do.. well gotta go.. later kidoos..

VINDICATED I AM SELFISH I AM WRONG, I AM RIGHT I SWEAR IM RIGHT; SWEAR I KNEW ITALL ALONG AND I AM FLAWWED BUT I AM CLEANING UP SO WELL I AM SEEING IN ME NOW THE THINGS YOU SWORE YOU SAW YOURSELF AS.

soooo... yeah

2004-10-24T21:56:21Z

anyways; this weekend had its ups and downs. I had a tournament again,im sick of going to softball every fucking weekend,its getting really fucking old; and its like fucking 40 degrees outside,cold as shit dude. so yeah last night,it was divinny,deitrek,ryan norris & bryon kelly. We were going to go to the haunted house down the spectrum drunk,. We got the 40's & shit, and then we drank and smoked and then dont you know that the spectrum was sold out for the night.Doesnt that suck.. alot!!! but its all good tho, because we were all feelin pretty good drunk:-)
so i came home around 11:30ish and went right to bed. Goodness!!! I slept so good last night.I dont remember if I had a dream or not,but its good I didnt remember because my dreams lately have been friggin tramatizing (lol spelling)but seriously. so today I had games. I saw my babygirl Kelly, she plays for 16&U's. and I saw my homegirl Dee and court. It was so cold out today im still freezing.
I was supposed to go to the movies with phil to see friday night lights;but now hes going to a hayride with amanda.. So if anyone wants to go to the movies.lol
but i dont know, i feel a long entry coming on maybe tomorrow;im just gonna let everything out because I feel like im gonna burst right now; I just fucking hate people and the way they think. I hate people and the way that they hurt me,I hate people and the way that critisize you for ONE FUCKING THING. god damn.
I cant concentrate anymore; even when I play softball which scares me. I cant pitch a fucking game without thinking. Thinking about how badly and shitty right now things are. But watch, when im gone & all has been cooled down, your gonna regret all the times you dicked me over & people are going to regret everything that they have done to me... because im saying a big fuck you to everything; even my life, even to softball, and the fucking world. You wanna fuck wit me, you'll get your face smashed in the fuckin groud. end of story

heyyy!!!! its a good start of a good weekend.

2004-10-23T01:50:05Z

hey hey everyone!!!I am about to go to bed in a little while because I have to wake up early tomorrow morning for my tournament.I just checked my SAT scores & I got a 810!!! what dumb fuck gets an 810!!!!!lol I feel so stupid..oh well,ill take them again. Soooo today in school was hectic.lol we got out early;dont ask why,i dont feel like explaining it. lol sorry. So I went up to franklin Mills with Jen and Rachael.They had to get work shirts & I got a pair of new spikes. My dad picked us up and I came home, I was supposed to have a few beers with Mark tonight;but I havea tournament tomorrow & I dont think its a good idea because all these college coachs are coming to look at me.Soooooo I was watching Mulan and then Mark called me and we were talking. Dude I cant wait until we ahve a few drinks & just talk about things because he understands whatim going thru right now; he is basically in my same position.. thats my boy.. he considers me one of the boys as well,... sooooo tommorrow I have my tournament and then afterwards im going somewhere with all the boys...Mark invited me, he said its gonna be all dudes and that I would blend in well..lol I dont know who exactly its gonna be;but I hope it goes thru tho. :-) It would be good... for me to just get out and have my mind on nothing but whats in front of me. & I think were drinking as well. :-) right up my allyway!
well im kinda tired now; so i think im gonna go lay down!!! what bum goes to sleep at 10 on a friday night>>>??? MEEEE!!!!!LOL

brand_new4yew @ 2004-10-21T14:29:00

2004-10-21T18:39:04Z

me and marxie!! girl i love you so much!!!BCP BABY!.

this is me after my tournament last weekend; thinking about you. miserable, upset, lonely without you<\3

me and maria.. haha she looks soo pale in this pic... I MISS YOU SO MUCH!... xooxox

I just felt like updating and im bored and i wanted to post pictures.. it seems like everyoneis doing it so i felt left out. I NEED PICTURES OF SOME PPL.. i hardly have any pictures of anyone anymore.. lol

brand_new4yew @ 2004-10-21T13:52:00

2004-10-21T18:03:20Z

hey hey peoples!!!!! i just got home from school, doing nothing much... i have batting practice tonihgt & they are prolly gonna have me pitch as well. school was alright. im sick of going to sleep late & then waking up early in the mornin.. lol its just.. i dont know. lol but i HAVE to watch these baseball games. lol YANKEES LOST YESTERDAY!!! THATS FUCKING BULLSHIT!! they shouldnt have let that pitcher pitch. BOO to you!!this is one of the first times that i can remember that the Yanks have lost 4 games in a row!!!!! so the SOX won,,, i mean they deserved it... they got like 2 homeruns yesterday and a grand slam!!!!i dont know something like that tho. I have a college showcase this weekend. my mom emailed like 24185775 coaches, just to get my name out there.. so ima see whats up with all that. i still dont know what college i wanna go to tho:-( but its okay tho.. ill end up somewhere. im CONFUSED i dont know if i wanna go away to college or stay here.:-( ugh!!! someone help me.. lol
OMI! the one song i didnt wanna hear is on right now, i mean i love this song, but ugh! usher.. let it burn; i know i have to do that, but i dont know. FUCK!?. ???!?!?!?!??!
"no letting go, no holding back.. because you are my lady.... GIRL im so glad we made it. " i <3 this song. lol
so yeah.. nothing new in my life right now. BLAH!
yesterday!!! i had fun.. greg came over my house & we just chilled and i highlighted his hair.. it looks professional!! HAHA go cristina!! i was so happy.lol i never dyed hair or highlighted someones.. it does look good tho.:-)and then we went over my aunts house for a little dinner for my mom because it was her birthday on monday & greg came..... SO!!!.OMI! these songs keep on coming on the radio!! "cuz its all in myhead.... and it hurts so bad." yeah that song is playing.

okay homies i gotsta go... :-)

ITS YOUR TRUELY MA, I GOT A LITTLE MESSGAE FOR YA, ANYTHING HE CAN DO GIRL I CAN DO IT BETTER FOR YA <<3333 ((always & forever))<- to "you"

brand_new4yew @ 2004-10-18T14:51:00

2004-10-18T18:55:44Z

I LOVE THIS!!!!! UGH!!! it reminds me of my dreams.. my ambitions in life... sounds pretty cheesy.. but ... this is how i feel... <333 i fell in love with the game, my pitching, so no matter how much i bitch and complain about the hours of practice,.... i love it with all my heart... its the ONE THING that i can depend on when i feel depressed. its the thing i have been counting on since i was a little girl..... the little girl who fell in love with the game..

Do you remember why you play, or has it been too long? Is it because you've worked so hard to get where you are, or because you love to be part of a team? Is it because you love the roar of the crowd or the anxiety before the game? Is it because you don't want to let anyone down, or yourself? Is it because you love the sound of a perfect hit, or because you would rather be on the field than anywhere in the world?Somewhere behind the athlete you've become,and the hours of practice,and the coaches who pushed you,and the teammates who believe in you,and the fans who cheer for you,is the little girl who threw the ball - the one who fell in love with the game,and never looked back-play for her... not anyone else.... play for youself.

brand_new4yew @ 2004-10-18T14:12:00

2004-10-18T18:23:30Z

... and i need you tonight; i need you right now, i know deep within my heart, it doesnt matter if its wrong or right...hahah OLD SCHOOL BACKSTREET BOYS!!!!!..

so i just got in from school; today is my moms birthday!!!!!! i hope she has a good birthday because she deserves one... she has had a really really rough year and she needs a good time. I was up last night watching the Yankees game and when it turned 12:00 i sung happy birthday to her. lol <333 aww... soooooooo how was everyones day??? hopefully good.:-)mine had its parts... but after 5th period i was pissed and upset;but oh well ill have to fucking deal with it wont i?

so tonight i have to go somewhere from like 430 and ill be home around... 615ish.. yeaahh... fun shit lemme tell you.

"dont wanna lose you now, baby, i know we can win this.. dont wanna lose you now, no no.... forever again..." BSB again.... i <3 their slow songs; ahhhhhh

okay well im bored and dont have anything else to say. i dont know what im doing right now; but im gonna call phil and see what hes doing; i need to stop thinking.

I WON A MEDAL YESTERDAY!!! i went in school and showed it off to everyone..
god i was so happy.
:-)

brand_new4yew @ 2004-10-17T22:08:00

2004-10-18T02:37:12Z

okay so this weekend was.. interesting...
saturday.i had a really rough morning. i was just like getting emotional over everything because the news with my mom is just getting to be too overwhelming for me at this time.. i didnt have my tournament so my mom took me out to get me some new shirts and about 4 pairs of pants... u know, shopping and doing things for yourself takes your mind off of things.:-)
&& then we went food shopping MY MOM WENT CRAZY ON FOOD!!! she got so much shit. yeah and i wanted to lose weight.. lol.. but yeah anyways.. so amanda and melissa were waiting at my house when i got there and they helped with the groceries.. thanks guys. lol <33333 and then amanda took melissa home and amanda came back to pick me up.. i had to help my mom put the groceries away && then me and amanda picked up col and then went to amandas to watching me, myself and irene... good movie i guess.. i went home and got some ZZZZZZzZzZzZ'sss!!!!
TODAY!!! MY TOURNAMENT!! i saw miss jennifer!!! ugh!! i was soo happy to see her... phillip and marxie came to my game as well.. i didnt do that well int he second game;but when i pitched the third game i did OUTSTANDING!!! woo woo holla at cha girl! so i was sweatin all day and freezing my ass off at the same time... FUN RIGHT!!!
so then amanda came to pick me up and we hung out with staci,melissa,harold,joey... and then jessie. and now im home...

i wanna go to THE USED CONCERT!!!!!!!!

..... cuz its all in my head i think about it OVER AND OVER AGAIN and i cant keep pitcturing you with him...

i miss you; i miss talking to you; i miss hugging you; i miss EVERYTHING. <\3

yay!!! MY SONG!!!<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

2004-10-16T04:13:40Z

"some peopel want it all but i dont want nothing at all... if it aint you baby; if i aint got you baby... !!!" awww i miss that song...i <3 that song!!!!yay!

hey hey people!!! i am babysitting at melissas house; she got married tonight!!! YAY!! go melissa have some good sex this weekend on ur honeyomoon!!! so tomorrow softball is cancelled so ill prolly be around the house doing nothing UNLESS someone calls me to do something ((hint hint)) that means anyone who wants to call me to go out.... knock your socks off... i wanna have a good day tomorrow.. like a lot of laughing and giggling and i just wanna have fun!!!!! YAY! lol. im kinda hyper right now because i heard my songs and it took me back to the softball tournaments where my britt boo & me & MY MOM used to sing that song OVER AND OVER AGAIN! GOD ...I THINKmy dad might know every word to that song because of us.. lol.. I MISS MY BRITT BOO!!! I WANNA SEE HER!!.. i miss my bryan too!! i cant wait until christmas break dude... were gonna party our fucking asses off.. i just cant wait to see him; i think ill jump on him because ill be that excited!!!LOL .... im all looking forward to things in like 2 months.. but hey.. i dont have anything to be happy about right now.. so why not look in the future.

sunday... mmhhhmmm I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT!!!!! jennifer daly is coming to my tournament!! i miss you so much girl!!! i cant wait.... and my phillip is coming also and marxie and rachael... and i aam JUST SO EXCITED..its gonna be so great..... just imagine... college coaches looking at you every 5 seconds, some of the people you care about the most!!! OMI! i cant wait.. i need to have a good time, because the "emoness" is pissin me off.. its hard to be happy right now; but im going to try my best... because IM SICK OF FUCKING BEING SAD.. IM TOO MUCH OF A GOOD PERSON TO BE FUCKING SAD ALL THE TIME.. yes thats right cristina marie peoples got confidence in her system.. (MAYBE NOT FOR LONG.. BUT IM FEELING IT AT THE MOMENT. ) LOL

okay kiddies!!call my cell phone if u wanna do something tomorrow.. peace out mothhhaaa fuuucckkerrs.

<\3